JUST BREATHE!!!!

Who me? I'm not getting into any trouble!

First of all I just want to say thank you to everyone who responded to my last post, by emails or calls. It really made me feel better just to know that you guys were thinking and praying for me. I really appreciate it. Maida's rash improved significantly over the course of the day. We can tell that it's still pretty itchy, but hopefully that will go away soon. I stayed home from church this morning and rested up. It was the first day since Maida was born that I have been able to just lay in bed and sleep, not having to worry about hearing a baby cry. Erik took Maida to church and those two hours he was gone, was such a blessing in so many ways. THANK YOU, ERIK! Tonight I have gotten a little achy, but over all I'm not feeling as bad as the past two nights. I've been doing a lot of hot compresses, massages, and pumping. Hopefully I can cure this myself so that I don't have to go into the doctor. God is so good, and I know that He will provide healing. It was so funny (now that look back on it) last night when I was in so much pain, Erik grabbed a hold of me and said, "JUST BREATHE!" and he started breathing with me out loud, like he did when I was in labor! It really actually helped me calm down and I appreciate him so much for staying up with me and trying everything and anything he could to help.

Last night when I finally calmed down and couldn't sleep, the whole breathing thing took my thoughts back to when we were in the hospital having Maida. It was the best and the worst day of my life. I can not honestly believe how bad it hurts to have a baby! And just being reminded of that pain, reminds me that I want to wait a little longer before we have more kids. Lately we have been discussing the idea of adding another to our number and it's a difficult subject without even thinking of the labor and delivery part! The difficult thing for me right now is taking all the criticism from other mothers about how we parent or decisions that we make for Maida.

When Maida was first born we always got the complaint that we were "going too much by the book" with our feeding schedules, bathing rituals, and bedtime routines. It was hard enough being a new parent and weeding through all the material that we read, let alone putting into practice what we felt was best. At that time I really thought that the criticizing and unwanted opinions would get better as Maida got older, but as I'm currently experiencing, it only gets worse!! I also always thought that by the time I had my second baby, I'd be more laid back and easy-going about the same stuff that bothered me when I had Maida. But, lately I've been thinking just the opposite! I feel like I'm going to be more protective and more set in my ways with the next one and that's because with Maida, I didn't know how to say, "Don't hold her like that," "You're playing too rough with her," "No, we're not gonna pass her around the table like a football." I think I've come to realize that the first baby is all a learning experience! And I've learned a couple lessons... (1) Don't criticize other mothers or parenting styles. (2) Stand up for what you feel is right for your baby, even if it's uncomfortable. (3) It's your baby, so do what you want with her, you know her better than anyone else. (4) Listen to opinions and advice, but remember that it's only that. Do what you feel is best anyway. (5) JUST BREATHE!!! and relax.

[I just want to say thank you in a BIG way to my mom and dad who have been so helpful in supporting me down my road as a new mother. Whenever I have a problem with unwanted advice, I have been able to come to you for support. THANK YOU for understanding! In a way, you've taught me to "just breathe" and relax, long before Erik did. I appreciate everything you do for us.]