Most Memorable Diaper Change

Tonight I was busy after dinner, so I asked Erik if he could put a diaper on Maida. I got out the diaper and the pants to put on her. He took the diaper and pants, sat down on the living room floor, and laid her in front of him. He wiped her down with a wipe, then reached for the diaper. As soon as he grabbed the diaper, he said, "Hey Kara, is this diaper still wet?"

We use cloth diapers and sometimes they don't get all the way dry in the dryer. Since I just took them out of the dryer, I thought this may be a possibility, so I said, "I dunno, could be."

I walked into the living room as he was feeling around and around the diaper with a confused look on his face, then he proceeded to rub the diaper on his face... HE RUBBED THE DIAPER ON HIS FACE!!!...well, it was more of a pat. But it was on his FACE! It was at that exact moment that I looked down and realized that Erik had grabbed the wrong diaper!!! He grabbed the dirty one that I had just taken off of her instead of the clean one!!! I was laughing too hard to tell him that he had just rubbed pee all across his cheek, but finally, in the midst of hysteria, I was able to spit out the words, "WRONG DIAPER!"

He immediately threw the diaper across the room, definitely not thinking that this was as funny as I thought it was.

Later tonight I was online, blog stalking, and came across this story and thought it was cute. I have no idea who this guy is, but hopefully he won't mind me pasting his story onto my blog...

According to my wife, changing a diaper is easy. It involves five steps that, if followed properly, will take a total of no more than one minute to complete. The steps are as follows:
1. Open diaper
2. Wipe baby parts
3. Remove diaper while simultaneously sliding new diaper under baby
4. Secure new diaper
5. Throw dirty diaper away.

She says that anyone with half a brain can do this and that she's pretty sure I do, in fact, have half a brain. But, after eight-plus weeks of changing Ella's diaper, I think it's safe to say that I've completely and unequivocally proved her wrong.Just like any man, my brain doesn't operate like that. It's filled with important information, like who won the 1986 World Series and how many times you can wear a t-shirt before it needs to be washed (if you said "less than 12," you'd be wrong). There's no space in there for unimportant knowledge like birthdays, anniversaries, color coordination and diaper-changing instructions. Even if there were, I don't believe in using instructions. No man does. We like to follow gut instinct.

Of course, a typical diaper change under "gut instinct" goes something like this:
1. Open diaper.
2. Baby screams uncontrollably.
3. Panic.
4. Take two shots of Jack.
5. Start to wipe baby parts. Also wipe baby foot after baby dips foot into dirty diaper that you haphazardly left laying wide open.
6. Slide new diaper under baby, though can't figure out how to work the adhesives that hold it together.
7. Wipe own elbow after dipping it in the dirty diaper that's STILL laying wide open.
8. Go to secure diaper, notice hand is all wet. Look up and see a fresh load in new diaper.
9. Repeat steps 1-7.
10. Secure new diaper with duct tape, take two more shots of Jack, call wife and beg her to come home immediately.

Now, for a few unfortunate dads, the fun stops here. Luckily in my household there's a bonus Step 11: Get yelled at by wife for 1) not throwing the dirty diaper away, 2) putting the clean diaper on backwards and 3) not cutting the grass—hey, when she's on a roll …